My God of Second Chances (Part 7)

    One day my phone rang while I was driving home.  I didn't recognize the number, but answered it anyway.  It was a guy I had gone to school with since 2nd grade.  We had seen each other out and about a couple of times in the last year, but we hadn't even been close in High School.  I remembered that our freshman year we had a class together and he flirted with me relentlessly.  I also remembered that I used to mistake him for my boyfriend on the football field sometimes and felt a little guilty for thinking he looked pretty good in a pair of football pants!  Other than that, he was just the big goofy cowboy that copied off my papers for a year in Physical Science.


     He asked me if I wanted to go out on a date.  He had gotten my number from my sister, who worked for a good friend of his.  My exact thoughts were, "Why not?  I don't have anything better to do."  So, I agreed.  And, honestly, I didn't think much about it.


     He took me to Red Lobster and was quite obviously nervous.  Through dinner, I had a lot of fun talking to him and enjoyed my time with him at the movie.  I was surprised by the fact that his favorite music was 80's rock and a little turned off by the fact that he was an avid OU fan, but was able to get past it.  By the time we got back to my house, I was thinking, "Wow.  I actually kind of like this guy!"  However, he sat there with his hands on the steering wheel.  A little baffled, I said, "Well, I had a good time."  He said the classic words:  "Yea.  We'll have to do it again sometime."  WOW.  I had just been let down easy by the big goofy cowboy who I had really enjoyed a date with.  He didn't get out and open my door, let alone walk me to the house.  He just sat there, hands glued to the steering wheel.


   I chalked it up to the joys of dating and went on.  About two weeks later I got a call from him, but like any lady would, let it go to voice mail so as not to seem too available after that 2 week lull.  Apparently his blunderous ending of our date was only the first of many dating faux-pas I would have to overlook.  It was worth it, though.  Because I soon found out there was so much more to him than what most people ever know.  Before long he was a regular fixture at my little apartment, amidst the chaos that was my life with my two kids.  He would sit patiently while I patted my five year old's back until she FINALLY went to sleep.  He usually would bring over Subway on Friday nights and we would watch a movie at the house.  Before long, I found myself unintentionally falling head over heels for him.  We found ourselves to be very kindred souls, although no one would have expected it from the outside, looking in.


     The beginning of our relationship was not without it's issues.  Any man who is taking on a woman with two children and enough emotional baggage to warrant a live-in concierge, is sure to second guess things.  And, anytime there are children involved things can get difficult.  We made it through, though.  And, he was (and is) everything I wanted.  He was all the things I didn't even know I wanted in a man.  God knows the deepest desires of our heart, though.  Even better than we do!


     I will never forget the first time he saw my stomach.  I hated every second of it.  He ran his fingers over my stretch marks, that to me, were hideous.  I never let anyone see my stomach, let alone touch it.  I rarely looked at it in the mirror, myself.  "Why does that bother you so much?" he asked.  I told him it was because it was just awful.  He told me it wasn't.  He said, "How can you say that?  You have two beautiful kids in there because of this stomach."  And, yes, I cried.  God had brought me to a place where I knew I didn't need a man in my life.  I knew God could fulfill my every need.  But, in order to fulfill a very big "want" of mine, God put this man in my life.


                                                                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


     The church doors opened.  My father was at my side, wearing his Converse sneakers with his tux.  This time he wasn't trying to talk me out of it.  My two beautiful children were in front of me.  Most of the people I care most about were watching me, and "God Blessed the Broken Road" had just played.  We walked down the aisle and my dad gave away all three of us.  This was my second chance.  I was a different person than I had been at 19 years old, the first time I did this.  It seemed like a lifetime ago now.

     I don't know how many people knew what that moment in my life meant to me.  I had vowed to never let someone in my heart enough to hurt me ever again.  And, there I stood in front of this man who had stolen my heart without warning.  People always say love comes along when you least expect it, and in my case it was true.  I said my vows through tears of joy that I had been given an opportunity to try this again and that God had given my children and I this amazing man.  We didn't even realize that anything was missing from our little trio, but now we can't imagine life without him!  (Or the little red head that we added to the bunch a year and a half ago!)


     I'm still not sure how long it will take for all the wounds from my past to heal completely.  All I know is God can do it.  And, He will.  So many of them are just a distant memory.  I know that I sleep every night with my husbands big, strong arms around me.  And, I thank God for giving him to me.  I thank God for all the blessings He has given to me in my lifetime.  I am most thankful that no matter how many times I fail Him, He loves me the same.  He never changes.  People will let you down.  Even the people who love you the most.  I know I've done my fair share of hurting people... even if it was unintentional.  The only one who never will let you down is Jesus.


     Those of you who don't know Him, I urge you to seek Him in your life.  Those of you who do, but are trying to shut Him out, I would urge you to come back home.  Nothing you've done is too much for him to fix.  You never run out of second chances with my God!  He knew how many you would need the day you were born, and they were all nailed on the cross with Jesus years and years ago.


"Blessed is the man whom God corrects;
   so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty.
For he wounds, but he also binds up;
   he injures, but his hands also heal." - Job 5:17-18