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Friday, March 4, 2011

Diets and Dog Poo - Fizzgig and Soup

A relationship with a dog is very similar to a parent/child relationship.  It isn't like a dating relationship where you sit the dog down and say, "Listen.  This just isn't working out.  It's not me.  It's you."  HA!  But, I'll admit.  I'd been giving some thought to giving our lab, Ruth, to a good home.  Even though it would be sad and the kids would be sad.  And, I'd been looking on Craig's List every day at dogs that needed homes, dreaming of having a little indoor dog to love that would not be able to knock things over or leave horse-like piles of poo on my carpet!  Although I like Ruth a lot, I'd all but given up, as I looked out my kitchen window at 6:00 am one morning to see her in the neighbor's yard, looking over at our house.  I think maybe she was actually looking at ME through the window, as if to let me know where she was at so I wouldn't be worried....

So, I sat the hubby down and told him:  "I think we need to find Ruth another home.  This is just ridiculous.  We can't keep her in ANY kind of fence, when she's been cooped up in that little kennel, she's just too hyper for the kids to handle.  She's too much to keep in the house."  Now, I assumed he would be all for this because he's just not a big pet person.  He expects animals to earn their keep.  Coon hounds and cows - they have a purpose.  Dogs are just another mouth to feed and more responsibility.  Surprisingly, though, his exact words were: "Naw.  I don't want to do that."  Huh?!  Was it possible that he'd grown attached to the crazy dog??  He said he would fix the kennel so she couldn't get out and he would work on putting in a buried electric fence system to keep her in the yard.  I love this guy.

However, my longing for a little lap dog would not go away.  I don't know what the deal was.  I guess maybe because my youngest is 2, talking in complete sentences, potty trained and letting me know what color she wants of everything?  Maybe the good ol' baby fever is kicking in and I know the closest I can ever come again will be a puppy?  I don't know.  But, when Mom called me about some puppies someone she knew was trying to get rid of that were half Shih Tzu, half Jack Russell Terrier I was intrigued!  And when the lady sent me a picture of three little fluff balls, I instantly fell for one of them.  It was a little brown and white sleeping puppy, all spotted fur!!  I had to have her!  So, I worked up the nerve to ask the hubster if he'd be on board.  He of course, said it was up to me and I needed to make sure I wasn't biting off more than I could chew.  I don't know why I expected a resounding NO out of him, but I did.  I really, really love this guy!

Eagerly, I told the lady that I would get the pup the next day - Friday!  Then, I remembered I was having two wisdom teeth pulled Friday.  Oh, well, I thought.  I'll have Mom get her on her way home and I'll be fine to take care of her... and my three kids.  And, we had a livestock auction to go to the next day.  No big deal.

Fast Forward to the dentist's office.  Now.  I realized this was a "difficult extraction."  I knew one tooth was sideways and not through the gum.  So, I assumed they'd have to cut my gum.  And I knew they might have to break to tooth some to get it out.  I was nervous.  And unprepared.  The dentist asked me, "Are you nervous?"  I, of course, responded with a yes.  His next words are not what you want to hear as you are sitting down in a dentist's chair.  "You should be.  This isn't going to be easy."  Then he and the assistant were throwing words like "surgery" around.  I was having actual surgery, only I was going to be awake for it.  Lovely.  This was definitely going to help my irrational fear of the dentist.

So, he let me know the risks, like the chance that part of my lip could end up permanently numb and that there was a possibility of puncturing my sinus cavity and that the tooth was on a nerve so it was going to hurt no matter what and there was nothing he could do about it.  And, he told me how I needed to lay down afterwords and not talk and I needed to be "off duty " for a day or two to recover and keep my blood pressure down so the clotting would do it's thing.  Then, after he started there was talk about how much tissue he was having to cut through and about sewing the muscle back together and how it was going to feel like he sewed my mouth shut.  Hmmm.  Maybe this new puppy thing should have waited until NEXT weekend!

So, I went home and lay down until Mom showed up with my little fur ball who I named Fizzgig.  (Most people look at me like I'm crazy, but the name comes from one of my favorite childhood Jim Henson movies, The Dark Crystal.  Fizzgig was a little rolling, fuzzball Muppet creature.)  I tried to stay down as much as possible and my oldest daughter was more than happy to help out with the new family member.  I was up quite a bit that night, but I got to sleep in the next morning.

Now, having been unprepared for my dental ordeal, I had NOTHING in the house I could eat.  I tried to eat the dirty rice that the hubby (with lots of my help) made for dinner, but no matter how much I mashed the rice it kept wanting to get stuck in the gaping holes in my gums.  So, I drank some coffee the next morning and tried to get ready for my mom's Scentsy party at 2:00.  However, I kept feeling like I was going to throw up or pass out, or maybe both at the same time.  So, I asked my sister to stop and get us on her way to Mom's.  She did, of course, being the wonderful sister she is.  And she brought a friend!  So, here I am, half dressed, trying not to pass out in a pool of my own puke, my house a WRECK (because houses quickly get wrecked when moms spend much time at all lying around), and in walks my little sister and her very cute, neat, put together friend.  MORTIFIED!  So, I put on my best "I'm fine act" (because if I hadn't, she would have insisted on driving me) and told her I'd be ok to drive if she'd run the errand for me that mom had asked me to run.  Because A. I was not about to try to cram me, two of my kids and a dog in to the backseat of my sister's two door sports car. And B. I was not about to let this girl I'd never met even look in the windows of my van which is usually in a very pit of despair-ish kind of shape.  Trash in the floor, clothes all over, sticky stuff on the windows.  Nope. My pride would not allow it!  So, I suited up, got us all out the door and my husband walked to the window of the van to tell me good bye and instead said, "Don't take this wrong, Baby, but you look bad.  Are you okay?"  "Yep.  I'm fine.  I just need to eat something."  And, I did!  I knew my blood sugar had spiked or plummeted or something!  I just did not feel right at all. I had gone in to survival mode.  And, I knew my survival depended on getting to my Mommy as quick as possible without throwing up!

I made it.  I got us all in the door and in true Momma fashion, she took one look at me and said, "Are you okay?"  And, amidst the room full of Scentsy partiers, I said, "Yea."  And, I quickly walked to the kitchen.  As soon as she could get away, she was in there with me and I broke in to tears.  "What's wrong?"  Me: "I don't know.  I don't know why I'm crying!  I think I just need to eat!"  Ha!!!!  What I really needed was to have a milk shake and go lay down in a quiet room for about 10 hours and let the pain pills work their magic without having to take dogs to potty or feed kids or find binkies!  But, instead, I opted for some yogurt and chicken noodle soup (minus the noodles) and I tried to join in the scent sniffing festivities.  And, I went to the livestock sale to watch my girl "auction" her show heifer.  Then I went to El Chicos, one of my all time favorite Mexican restaurants and was tortured with chips and dip while I sipped soup.

I spent 5 days on an almost totally liquid diet.  And, I'm pretty sure that when I weigh myself Monday, you won't even be able to tell!  But, on a good note, I am head over heels for my new puppy!  And, so far we are on day 7 with only one tiny pee-pee accident!  My days of dog poo may be over for good!  But, the diet is still there.......

Top: Jim Henson's Fizzgig.  Bottom: My Fizzgig.  She found a binky!

Twirl (A VERY rough draft)

You were laying in the grass,
warm golden sun on your face.
Pig tails, innocence and lace.
A sweet breeze stirred your soul.
You got up and twirled about.
You don't remember; it was long ago.
But, He remembers everything,
though you thought you were alone.
He watched you dance, heard you sing,
He delighted in your silly song.
And when you were done, 
He cradled you with the warm spring sun.
and sent the wind to whisper you to sleep.

What hurts you must have
to give it all up for a man.
Who made you feel unworthy of
the very best kinds of love?
Oh, it hurts so much to watch you
passing your painful torch to
the ones who are looking for Him now.
Who made you feel less than?
Who hurt that little girl?
This was not your father's plan.
He wants to see you twirl.
Oh, He loved to watch you twirl.

You've been in love before;
It's fleeting - you try to hang on.
Try to keep that man's heart beating.
You are sure he's the one.
You'll give all your gifts away,
if only for a moment.
And, in the end they just feel stolen.

Only God will hold you
the way you really need.
Only God will send you
the love of your dreams.
Only God will be there
when the world turns away.
And only God remembers
Every single thing.

What hurts you must have
to give it all up for a man.
Who made you feel unworthy of
the very best kinds of love?
Oh, it hurts so much to watch you
passing your painful torch to
the ones who are looking for Him now.
Who made you feel less than?
Who hurt that little girl?
This was not your father's plan.
He wants to see you twirl.
Oh, He loved to watch you twirl

Don't you see her watching you?
Trying to decide who to be.
When was the last time she twirled in the grass?
Does she know she's lovely?

He loves to watch her twirl.
He never wanted you to stop.
Take his hands and twirl.
Don't ever let her stop.