Letting the Lbs go! - The before picture!!!

This is a picture of me at my 30th birthday outing.  UUUUuugh.  It pains me to look at this because this is not how I see myself in my own mind.  But.  At my 31st birthday there will be a new picture and I'll be over half way to where I want to be! Anybody want to join me??

Diets and Dog Poo - Not much poo these days!

Ruth got kicked back outside... twice.  Now it's for good.  When I woke up at 4 am to the smell of a big steamy pile of dog poo and and overturned trash can, she lost all indoor privileges.  Also, my youngest child is now completely out of diapers!  I'm talking stays dry all night!  Hallelujah!  Don't think this is the end of my journey with poo, though.  Hello.  I have a home daycare.  I imagine there will be plenty more diapers and house breaking in my future!  And, I don't care what anyone says, I think housebreaking a toddler is, by far, easier than a canine!
So, now my blog threads will just consist of the diet.  I am using a website called Spark People that tracks your calories in and out and a lot of other diet/health/nutrition info!  My goal is to lose 37 of the 57 lbs I need to lose by my birthday in May!  So... for anyone interested, you can follow my success!  I won't be posting my actual weight, but I will be posting my lbs lost.
And... dun, dun, duuuuun.... Before and after pictures!  OUCH.

Speaking of poo!

My youngest is now fully potty trained!!  Yay for me!  And, of course, here's a link to a video of her pooping in the potty.  She'll kill me someday for this, but it's SO hilarious!!
More Poo Poo

Diets and Dog Poo -I just put some chips up!

So, as you know, the HcG diet was a bust.  I think I'm done dieting.  My new goal is to conquer the basic math of body weight:  More output than input.  I'm basically just trying to eat less and work off more calories.  I'm not going to restrict myself of anything, but I'm going to try to make better choices.  Today for lunch I had a ham and mozzarella sandwich on a whole wheat roll with hot mustard and sauerkraut.  I also ate a few kettle chips.  Seriously, it was maybe 5.  And I had unsweetened tea to drink.  And, just now as I went through the kitchen, cleaning up, I just shut the bag.  I thought about grabbing a handful because that's what I would normally do, but I thought, "Nah.  I don't need 'em." And, I put them away!  Yay for me!!!!

Diets and Dog Poo - Hello, my name is Christin and I am a foodaholic...

There, I said it.  I quit HcG totally.  I quit everything again.  I fell off the wagon and I pigged out and it was glorious... until after.  As always.  I feel like I am battling a heroin addiction.  To some of you that will make sense.  To some of you, you will just think I am a fat, lazy, glutton.  And, that's fine.  But, I'm realizing that this is a true addiction.  All kidding aside.  And, I'm realizing I started this at a point in time in my life when things were very scary and out of control for me.  I used food to comfort myself.  I used food as a temporary high when everything else in my life seemed to be falling apart.  After that, as a single mom living on my own, supporting two children I had food stamps.  It wasn't something I was proud of, but I had to do it.  And, there was no extra money for anything!  No new clothes for me, not much of anything for the kids, and not a lot left over for entertainment.  It was all I could do to make ends meet.  But, I had that little blue card and we could go buy whatever we wanted to eat!  Food became my entertainment and one of the few things in my life I felt like I could control.  Maybe I couldn't buy my kids toys or brand new fancy outfits, but I could get them whatever special cereal they wanted and we could get ice cream and frozen pizzas every Friday night! And, it just stuck with me all these years.  Food is my vice.  So, I am NOT dieting anymore.  I am going to set small goals and I am going to conquer this just like I would a heroin addiction.  And, I'm not going to beat myself up for "falling off the wagon."  My goals right now are to: 1. Go to bed earlier. 2. Get up and work out every morning. 3. To try to eat smaller portions. 4. To add more whole foods to my diet like fruits and veggies.  Once I master those, I will move on to add more healthy things in to my life.
The other day I heated up some left over pizza.  I realized that I wasn't really hungry, I just really wanted the pizza.  It took a lot, but I took the pizza out of the microwave and I threw it in the trash.  Not a big deal for some people.  But, for me, it was the equivalent of an alcoholic pouring a bottle of booze down the drain.  And, I was proud of me!  It was a small step.  But, a step none-the-less!

Today I cleaned my doors.

I've mentioned Fly Lady in a previous post.  I swear by this plan!  And, with a new year here I have decided to really get on track with it and keep my house in shape!  They have something called "Zone cleaning" where your home is divided in to 5 zones and for a week or so every month you concentrate on deep cleaning that area.  Eventually your house gets clean and stays that way!
This week is Zone 1.  That involves entry ways, porches, dining room.  Today I cleaned the outside of my doors and I realized something.  As a 30 year old, I have never cleaned the outside of my doors in any house I've lived in.  Okay, sure, I may have hosed one off here and there and if I owned a glass door, it got cleaned.  But, I went outside and I cleaned my doors and I was a little appalled!  My doors were dirty and the trim was dirty and there were cobwebs.
I looked at my doors like visitors would and I was pretty embarrassed!  I mean, this is the first thing people see as they walk in my house!  So, if you've ever come to my house and thought that I was a lazy bum because my doors are so dirty, let me tell you that's not the case!  I'm not a detail person.  I'm a big picture person.  So, I don't notice things like dusty doors and dirty trim and fingerprints by the doorknob.  I just see the whole front porch as a big picture.  So, don't worry, I will never notice the dust on your door.  And, for all you that do notice those things.... I'm on it!  ;-)

Diets and Dog Poo - Mostly just poo

So... I lasted four days on the diet and I caved.  I caved big!  I had lost almost 6 lbs, but I guess that wasn't motivation enough for the starvation to continue.  This diet is not for the weak.  And I am oh, so weak.  So.  Now what?  Now I am going to continue the drops because they really are a good appetite suppressant.  However, I am not going to limit myself to 500 calories a day worth of lettuce, grilled chicken and apples.  It's just not doable for me!  I am going to cut carbs (the bad ones) and eat less.  It will be slower going than the illustrious 25 pounds I had hoped to lose in one month, but it will happen... eventually.


And, possible part of why I couldn't exist on the 500 calories is due, in part, to the poo.  I've dealt with a lot lately.  At the same time I was giving up on the diet, I was about to give up on this stinkin' dog!!  First off, what kind of dog digs out of it's own fence and then digs in to another fence?  That's ridiculous.  So, we bring her inside with the back hallway as her room, and a baby gate to contain her.  Bad idea. 


I had realized she couldn't be let go in the house because the one time I took my eyes off her for 5 minutes my husband and I started to smell something.  So, we searched.  We searched then den where we were at, we searched the daycare room.  We searched everywhere.  Finally, I went to my son's room (which is clear across the house from where we first smelled the smell.) and there in the floor was an enormous steaming pile of dog *BLEEP*  Poo doesn't cover it.  This was no lap dog accident.  This was a big dog "goodie."  And beside it was a puddle.  I was furious!  And disgusted beyond belief.  And, of course, since it was my idea to bring the horse dog in to our home, it was my job to clean up after it, I supposed.  Thank God for the dust pan with the long handle is all I got to say!


New Years' Eve Ruth woke me up.  She had escaped.  Luckily, she didn't go to my son's room or any other carpeted area, she came right to me and I let her out.  And, of course, she went to the neighbor's yard, found her hole, and let herself right in their yard with their dogs.  How embarrassing!!  We added another baby gate on top of the first one to make a wall that could not be scaled by the lab.

That night we went to my parent's house.  When we returned, Ruth met us at the door.  And, immediately, I smelled it.  She had knocked down the bottom gate and had free rain of the house.  The trash can was knocked over, there were two dirty diapers from the trash torn apart in one bedroom.  And, again, in my son's room she had found some nice "grass" to use as her restroom.  This time it was 3 piles.  PILES, I said.  And one puddle.  And, let me tell you, I was ready to be done with this whole thing.  I was ready to give her away!! 


On top of that, I am potty training my two year old.  She has mastered going number one in the potty, but not so much number two....  I've had it with poo!!!