Diets and Dog Poo - Foodaholics Anonymous?

So... a recovering alcoholic would never be expected to serve cocktails to their family, right?  As I melted the beautiful Velveeta and Rotel for nachos for my family it really sunk in that I am addicted to food - BIG TIME!  Food is my drug.  I stirred the thick, creamy, cheesy, glorious mess  and I looked at the big bag of crunchy, salty tortilla chips (one of my most favorites, by-the-way!!!) and then I looked at my small piece of grilled fish and I just wanted to quit!!!  And, usually I would have.  I would have said to myself, "Oh, well.  Just eat nachos tonight.  You can start over tomorrow!"  And in full binge mode (because, after all, if you are going to mess up, you might as well do it up BIG!) I would have gorged myself with nachos, had some sweet tea, and followed up with some of those evil cake balls that are still in the fridge!  (Could someone finish those off already???)
I knew that I loved food.  But, doing this diet is showing me just how unhealthy my relationship with food really is!  I have yet to be truly, physically hungry!  But, mentally is a different story.  I want to eat just for the sheer joy of eating.  It's ridiculous the number of times a day I think about eating!  And, finally it is sinking in - even though I've known it all along on some level - I can't eat like this anymore!  I'm on a diet, but I can't have the mentality that "after this" I can eat again!  I can't eat popcorn every night.  I can't give in to temptation every single time it jumps in front of me.  I can't have a cake ball anytime I want to and drink pop several times a week.  Some people can.  But, obviously my body doesn't work that way!  I think I should be able to indulge every so often, sure!  But, I'm going to have to be careful for the rest of my life!  Just like an alcoholic has to be careful!  I am truly addicted to eating.  So, maybe eventually, after I detox my body from the sugar and processed foods and empty carbs, I will be able to have a delicious treat now and then and not totally fall back in to my old patterns.  I've got to realize that food is fuel and my body is a temple.
I stirred that creamy yellow deliciousness and I did have a little tiny taste of it.  But, I did not grab the tortilla chips and dig in!  I ate my fish and my salad.  And I actually splurged on some broccoli with a tiny bit of that cheese on it.  (You know you are on a crazy, strict diet when broccoli is cheating!!!)  And, it was so hard to resist.  But, I did it!!!  And, God help me (literally, God is going to have to help me!!), I will beat this and I will lose this weight and feel good about myself again!
Motivation for today:  I got on the scales this morning and and there was a 5 pound loss from yesterday morning!  I'm sure a lot of that was water weight, but still... WOW!