Many people dread turning 30. Today I am doing just that, and I am excited! I am welcoming and embracing my 30's! My last 10 years have been amazing. A roller coaster of ups and downs. Probably most of the great momentous events of my life have happened in the last 10 years....
I was married in 2000 and had my first child. By 2003 I was divorced with two children, a bankruptcy, broke and barely a leg to stand on! I worked myself up to a vocational certification in Child Care, to a good job with benefits, to a supervisory position in that job, to owning my own business, and in 7 months I will have obtained my Bachelors degree, all the while raising a family, being a wife and keeping up with a household. I sent my little brother off to boot camp, then to war, and feel the pangs of grief that he is so far away from us, and the swelling of pride for how far he has come and the great sacrifices he makes for our nation. I married my husband in 2007, blended our family (not always easy!) and had my precious red head in 2008. I've been a single mom and I've swallowed pride and fear to hand over half the reins of child rearing to someone else. I broke down thick walls of protection over my heart to love another man and share my life with him. I watched by baby sister get married and held my mother's hand as she dealt with the pain of her last child leaving her home. (And, that has made me appreciate this time in my life all the more!) We buried 3 of my grandparents - my two grandmothers within 3 months of each other and had a baby in between them. (When was there time to grieve??) I've watched my two oldest children's hearts break, often over my own shortcomings, and had no way to "make it better." I've watched their resilient little hearts recover and seen the amazing affects of our new found stability. I was right there as each of them gave their hearts to Jesus and felt the all consuming comfort of knowing we'll all be together in the great beyond!!
There are moments in my 20's that I will NEVER forget! How do you erase the first flutter of a child growing in your womb? How do you ever forget looking in to the love of your life's eyes, and promising yourself to them? The sorrows, pain and hardships are all just part of life. I look back to 10 years ago. I see a scared, pregnant 20 year old, growing up too soon. Mothers Day was on my birthday that year. The person I am now has been shaped by all the things that have happened between then and now. God has put me through the fire, he has shaped me and molded me and sometimes it has hurt!!! He has taught me things I will never forget, the most important of which is that the only way is His way and I have learned to rely on Him for my every need. This is not to say that my trials are over! No, I am not that naive!
We bought a house last year. That was my 9 time to move in 10 years. I sit back now, and look at my life and it feels so stable. It feels so good to know that, more than likely, where I am at is where I'll be for some time. I feel like for the first time in so long, I can sit back, take a deep breath, and truly enjoy my life! And, when the curve balls come - as they are sure to from time to time - I am so much more ready than I used to be... So, as I consider the next 10 years, I say to life:
Laissez les bons temps rouler!!! (Let the good times roll!!!)
"Nehemiah said, 'Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is sacred to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.'" -Nehemiah 8:10
"He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation." -Psalm 91:15-16
Looking back at my 20's I feel like I was just playing adult. Like I had the right age, but not enough knowledge and in my 30's I feel like the adult I was supposed to be. I'm not sure if that makes sense at all.
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