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Saturday, March 9, 2013

Mountains

I paint a rosy picture of my marriage most of the time on blog and Facebook posts. Which isn't to say that it isn't "rosy" but by all means, it IS a marriage. I'd say it is a really good one, but like all good things in life, it's pretty easy to take it for granted, leave it on the back burner, and/or pick it apart.
Today I made a statement to my husband and daughter about how despite how much we stay on our kids about cleaning up after themselves, I REALLY need to clean MY room. (I think I've confessed on here previously that I'm no neat freak!) I said to my hubby, "I know I drive you crazy, Baby. I'm so messy." He shot me that grin I love so much and said simply, "I knew that when I married you."
I spent a better part of my life trying to live up to either a standard I set for myself or that someone else did. Not that high standards are bad, but the way I've always beat myself up inside for not always meeting them is. Suffering the emotional effects of someone not accepting you if you fall under their "bar" for looks, weight, housekeeping, etc can be equally devastating.
But here stands this man who knows my heart and knows me in a way that sometimes shocks me. He accepts me solely for what I am inside - good and bad. Isn't that everything I always dreamed of? The guy that sees me in a ratty old t-shirt, crazy hair, bad breath, and yesterday's smeared makeup and still grabs me and hugs me and kisses me the same as he did 7 years ago, 50 lbs ago, when I'd never let him see me like that yet! Except it means so much more than that now... To both of us.
Trav is steady as a mountain. A mountain is what I needed. And I sometimes miss surprises and being swept off my feet. (Mountains don't have many surprises!) But, I sure don't miss having a rug pulled out from under my feet!!! And today with one simple statement he did kind of blow me over in his steady, subtle way. He reminded me that he's everything I want and need.
I also got a little reminder from a lady I respect a lot who told me to hug my husband every day and never take one day for granted. It's sad that we have to have sobering reminders about that every now and then. I'm really thankful for my husband who has been my rock for the past 6 years and I'm also really sorry for the times I forget how thankful I am!