Apparently I am the sexist one!!!

I was raised by a rather feminist mother.  I rarely saw her fix my father's dinner plate or dote or wait on him.  I grew up seeing my father cook now and then and my mom roofing our house and doing a lot of the light handy work.  However, she maintained that you should never let on that you know how to mow the yard.  Because then, you'd have to start mowing the yard and apparently she doesn't think that would be a fun job.
Well, I grew up and got married.  (Twice now.  But, that's another blog.)  There have been plenty of times where I've spent a Saturday in the house cleaning, wishing I was the one outside on the mower or spraying off the sidewalk... anything but inside the house!!!  Somewhere along the way, despite my rather liberal mother, it became very ingrained in me that certain jobs are a woman's and certain jobs are a man's.  For instance: I don't take out the trash.  I just don't.  That's HIS job.  And, my husband grew up with a mother and father who played the parts of very traditional gender roles.  I doubt my husband ever saw his mom take out the trash or his dad do the dishes.
I'll be honest.  It irritates me when my husband expects me to take my car to get the oil changed, or doesn't put gas in my car, or won't get up in time to tend to our wood burning stove, leaving it for me.  Adversely, I feel very uncomfortable when he does things that I view as "my job."  Like, picking up around the house, wiping off kitchen counters, or mopping.  When he does these chores, I feel like a failure!  Like I should have already had it taken care of.
A few weeks ago, my sweet husband went on a cleaning spree in the kitchen and pulled the oven out, cleaned under and behind it, and also cleaned the sides of the oven.  That same night he moved the microwave to clean under it and mopped all the tile in the house.  And, while I was so grateful for the help, I was so uneasy!!  I was assuming that as he cleaned, he was secretly cursing me for being a bad wife who doesn't deep clean enough!  Obviously, my assumption stems from the fact that as I drop my van off to have the oil changed, I'm secretly complaining in my mind that I'm doing HIS job!
Last night I had a revelation!  My husband HATES tending to the wood stove in the house we just bought.  It is a big wood stove located outside our house, but feeds in to our central heat ducts.  It saves us a ton on our utility bills, but it is a bit of work.  Hubby finally kind of gave up on it.  I grew up with a fireplace and he didn't, so I just couldn't understand why he found it so difficult.  I decided I was going to start it back up.  As I walked out to start the fire, I said, "Okay, I'm going to go get the fire started."  My husband said, "Alright.  I'll start cleaning up the kitchen."  I was talking to my liberal Mom on the phone later on and, laughing, told her we had a little role reversal.  She said, "Been there and done that.  You gotta' play to your strengths, Babe."  It hit me like a ton of bricks! 
My husband is a neat freak.  I am not.  I am far too right brained.  For his sake, I try really hard to keep things neat and tidy, but it doesn't drive me crazy like it does him.  Therefore, he is better at cleaning than I am!  He enjoys getting things in order.  I hate mundane tasks that never end, like loading and unloading the dishwasher.  I actually enjoy the challenge of placing the wood in the stove just right and trying to keep the fire rolling.  So, what's wrong with him doing the dishes and me tending the fire??  Not one thing.
I'm always afraid that if I seem to self-sufficient, (Even though, I know I can be) my husband will feel not needed and will look for someone who does need him.  The fact of the matter is, though, I do need him!  I need him to do the dishes sometimes.  And, sometimes he needs me to tend the wood stove.
I don't think getting my oil changed will be a big deal anymore.  But... I'm still not taking out the trash!!